motivation

This is, erm, perhaps some kind of counterweight to Wednesday’s post. I scheduled yesterday’s post in advance (that’s why that one had an little picture and this one doesn’t) and almost stopped the system from putting it up, because I just felt like it was complete BS.

Right now, I feel like me being on the inside with regards to the comics industry is an absolutely ridiculous notion. Not just a funny idea but actually laughable. I’m just some chick who has convinced a small number of people she’s a comics publisher, and they are clearly all lamers who can’t tell I’m a huge fake.

Right now, I feel like I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing, none of my clever plans to help ITCH grow are ever going to work because I’m doing it all wrong and I might as well try to hammer nails into the wall with my head.

Right now, I feel like my drawings are no more than mediocre, and no one in their right mind would pay real money for them, and that freelancing thing I’ve been thinking about is never going to work out, and I’m going to do mindnumbingly boring work in the civil service until the day I die.

In short, I’m having a bit of a funk.

I’ve been in this funk for a couple of days now, which means I’m probably through the worst of it, unless something else decides to go horribly wrong. (I don’t want to go into all the things that went horribly wrong that got me here, because most of them are stupid and trivial and it’s not really important for my point, anyway.)

My point is (I think) that if you feel like you suck, and you have no discipline or staying power, and you’re never going to be as cool or successful or skilled as [insert somebody else here], you should know you’re not alone. [insert somebody else here] probably feels the same way, at least some of the time.

We all get this. It’s normal. It doesn’t really mean anything, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you should stop.

I know this, so I’m just going to keep going, and look for some perspective, and have faith that in the end I’ll get somewhere with it. And remind myself that I’m doing some stuff that’s kind of cool, if you think about it, like publishing comics.

@Violetta: you said you want to draw manga, but you don’t know where to start. The answer is: with the laundry at your feet. (Something tells me you’ll get that reference.) It doesn’t even really matter where you start, just pick something that needs work, and work on it. That’s all you need.

At least, I frickin hope that’s all you need, because that’s all I’ve got.

Wish me luck.

{ Comments on this entry are closed }